Wednesday, July 25, 2007

A public service announcement

To the random strangers I have encountered in the last few months, please do not:
  • stick your head into my daughter's stroller and whistle at her. She is not a dog, but I might act like a rabid pit bull.
  • ask me if I'm breastfeeding. I don't care if you are 82 years old, as you told me, I'm pretty sure you were taught manners. Even if you weren't, seniority does not give you the right to ask.
  • see my daughter fully stretched out in her stroller, or with her head down on my shoulder in her carrier, stick your face into hers and then loudly ask "is she asleep". Well, she was. Thanks.
  • ask me how old she is, and then comment on her size. Are you telling me that feeding her every other day, with a stale saltine for Sunday dinner isn't adequate?
  • walk up to my daughter and in a syrupy voice ask "does your mommy knows that your foot is half out of your shoe, and you are chewing on your foot" and then cluck cluck cluck. Perhaps if we fed her more than every other day she wouldn't resort to eating her flesh, because surely that must be it.
  • look at me and ask "and what store did you buy her in? Because I'm going to have to get my hands on one of you (looking at daughter)." Doing so might cause injuries equal in pain to the labour I suffered through.
  • gush excessively on her how pretty/cute/beautiful/gorgeous she is. It was nice the first time. It was awkward the second time. By the fifth/sixth/seventh time it was getting weird and creepy. Oh, and don't continue talking about how beautiful she is when I am two feet away at the drink pickup counter.*
  • touch her hands. The hands she puts in her mouth. 'nough said. Also extends to pinching her cheeks and adjusting her clothing.
Failure to heed any of the above may result in filthy looks, muttered insults and the possibility of a stroller wheel rolling up your achilles tendon.

This public service announcement brought to you by the b*babbler, who is currently considering a name change to the bitchy*babbler.

* this is not false modesty. Most babies are cute, and while I happen to think my daughter falls into this category, I'd prefer her to have her self-worth based on more than just her looks.


Alison said...

Hee hee - having just entered that stage of pregnancy where people are starting to eye the belly, smile creepily, and possibly even touch me(!), I can only imagine how much more unpleasant it all is once it's your actual child being accosted. I don't know what it is exactly about pregnancy/children that makes it okay for perfect strangers to talk to you, criticize you, and touch you or your child. I am sure the vast majority are just being friendly/commiserating, but how are you supposed to know which ones those are, and which are crazy nutjobs? Blah.

nomotherearth said...

Yeah, I hate the comments that are said to the "baby", but are really meant to be criticisms of my parenting.

I also had people reach into the stroller and pull the thumb out of the Boy's mouth, because thumb-sucking is a no-no. Wanna see me angry? Try that again.

Haley-O said...

Ha!!! I think you covered ALL the stupid things strangers think is okay to do around moms and their babies.

When my monkey was 6 months old, a woman had the GAUL to "twiddle" my daughter's lips with HER INDEX FINGER! I couldn't believe my eyes. I felt so violated! I think that was the worst thing for us.... Oh, and a receptionist at my doctors office handled her pacifier and put it in her mouth (fabulous...).


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