Monday, September 24, 2007

Telemarketer negotiations 101

The phone rings. It is the subscription service (again) for a to-remain-nameless Toronto newspaper.

"Good afternoon ma'am. How are you today?" says the young man on the other end of the line.

"Fine thank you."

"Great. For the last few weeks you've been enjoying our complimentary weekly service of our newspaper. However, our records show that on September 29 your free subscription will expire. I also see here that you are weekend subscribers. We'd like to offer you regular weekly service for only an extra $1 a week."

Holding the phone away for a moment, I double check briefly that Mr Babbler does not, in fact, wish to continue the regular weekly service of this newspaper. He does not.

"No thank you," I reply. "Unfortunately the paper doesn't really get read around here from Monday to Friday."

"But ma'am," comes the quick rejoinder, "it's only an extra $1 a week!"

"Yes, but you don't understand. It doesn't get read, and only ends up in the recycling bin, normally after I have to remove it from my daughter's mouth after she tears it up and tries to eat it. That's a waste of paper."

"$1 more per week is only twenty cents a day. Twenty cents..."

"Yes, I understand it is only twenty cents a day, and that really is a good deal. However, twenty cents will also buy a quarter of a jar of baby food*, which arguably is more nutritious and healthier for my daughter than the newspaper she ends up eating, wouldn't you agree?"

"Well, I can't argue with that ma'am. Have a good day."

"You too!"

*for illustrative purposes only. I do try to make most of the Peanut's food, as time consuming as it is.


Naomi (Urban Mummy) said...

You are, most certainly, nicer and more patient then I am. I have asked to have my name and number removed from those lists quite a few times. Never works, of course.

Suzanne said...

I bet that's one of the most civil and polite exchanges that the young man had that day!

(Definitely nicer than the one he would have had with me -- my response to telemarketers tends to be a quick "No, thank you, I'm not interested." *Click*)

painted maypole said...

ha ha ha! I love that you explained it to the salesman. I usually just say "no thanks, have a nice day" and hang up

crazymumma said...

I think I talked to the same guy today.

Jennifer said...

You really are very nice to have a real convo with the guys. I would have done what Suzanne says she does.

ewe are here said...

You're a lot nicer than I would have been to someone who kept pushing me to buy something I'd already declined.

And what is the attraction of chewing on newspapers for babies? Mine loves to crumple them all up and suck on them when he can get his little hands on them.


BLITHELY BABBLING © 2008. Chaotic Soul :: Converted by Randomness