Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Running out of words

I feel like I'm running out of words. I sit at my computer and stare at the blank white screen, willing the thoughts to assemble themselves, the words to flow into prose, but it doesn't happen.

Perhaps it is the weather, oppressive in its coldness, the steely sky, the blanket of snow, ice, rain. This endless winter.


More likely, I find myself at a loss for words as I wait - patiently impatiently patiently - for Peanut's first word.


At 16 months we still live in relative silence, our conversations a one-sided affair. I fill the air between us with questions, with observations, with two-sided dialogue. There are giggles and babbling, but words still elude us.


I have yet to hear the sweet sound of "Mamamamama".


Of "Up! Up! Up!"


Or of a vehement "NO!" (How victorious would that act of defiance be? What cause for celebration?)


My sweet girl, so happy and easygoing and laid back. I long to know what is locked away in her mind, what she is thinking, what questions she has. I long for her to make loud demands and quiet chatter. I wonder, what is waiting to bubble forth?

It's as though there is a limit to my words. As I give them to my daughter, waiting for one - any one - to be returned to me, I run out of resources, and there are no words for here.

16 comments:

caramama said...

I think you said all of that pretty well. I also find it hard to wait for the Pumpkin to learn to express herself. I really wonder what goes on in her head.

Of course, I hear that once they start talking, you'll wish they were quiet once in a while.

Leanne said...

Yep, trust me. It's magic when they start and then you just wonder why you ever wished for it! Lol, the same goes for walking too.

motherbumper said...

I think with B it all came tumbling out at once, sometime shortly before her second birthday. I don't mean to sound predictable and trite, but OMG when they start you will wish for toddler-sized cork.

Leah said...

My first only had about ten words as she was pushing into being 20 months old and then SERIOUSLY got up from a nap one day, pointed out a few things around the house and named them. Doubled her vocab in a day and never looked back.

My second had 150+ (we lost count)words by 18 months and could speak 3-4 sentences (didn't often choose to, but DID from time to time).

My "baby" is 20 months old today and has about 12-ish words, most of which are his own little versions of words and we've heard them regularly enough to know what he means. For example "eesh" means shoes, tissue, fish, and drink. It's all in the context (is he pointing at the fish, holding his shoes, or standing by the sink or fridge, etc??? LOL) Today he signed "thank you" for the first time and I nearly cried from pure joy he was communicating

That said, they all get there eventually, and you eventually wish you could turn them off (from time to time). LOL For now, enjoy the silence. TRULY. LOL

Leah said...

LOL I just belated read the comments prior to mine and had to chuckle I wasn't the only one to comment about wishing you could shush them up from time to time... ha ha!

cinnamon gurl said...

The words will come. And even when they come I think we will still wonder about their internal life.

crazymumma said...

Metro's daughter Cakes was like that. Made her insane. And worried.
Now she talks a blue streak. Took her FOREVER. But you could see the wheels turning. It'll come, but it looks like you get to go thru hell in the waiting.

jen said...

we had some of that. J would say "will she ever talk" and now he says "will she ever stop talking"

and so it goes.

SciFi Dad said...

Everyone develops at their own pace.

(And, like others have said, enjoy the silence while you can, because soon you won't be able to get a word in edgewise!)

wheelsonthebus said...

My eldest waited to talk till he was sure he could do it right.

Bea said...

How beautiful these words of yours are. I remember that feeling - and I haven't yet lost the joy of discovery, now that words are tumbling forth from both my children.

Don Mills Diva said...

It's hard to write when you're hurting and worried isn't it? How well I know that these days...HUGS.

ewe are here said...

A good friend laughingly told my husband that you spend the first two years teaching them to walk and to talk, and the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

The speech will come...

Denguy said...

Hey, you're back!
I have no advice. I'm not the advice-giving type.

Uh, but I'm sure all will be well.

nomotherearth said...

The Boy's language only really took off when he started daycare at 18 months.

kittenpie said...

Pumpkinpie seemed to wait until she was sure she could say something. She never really babbled in cadence, though she did babble songs on occasion. Then suddenly, one, another, a flood came tumbling forth, and a few short months later, they were in pairs, in plurals, in compounds, in questions... It was quite the torrent, once she decided to get going! They take their time, it seems.

 

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